Help for parents of ADHD children

Being a parent to and ADHD child holds a lot of difficulties. Every parent loves their children, but dealing with the impulsiveness, hyperactivity and inattention can be wearing and frustrating. It can be especially hard if teachers, neighbors, etc. do not provide enough support. The following are some ways parents of kids with ADHD can get help:

• Use a therapist
• Psychotherapy
• Behavioral therapy
• Social skill training
• Support groups
• Parent skills training
• Set a schedule
• Parent time

Each of these things will make being a parent to an ADHD child easier. So, let's take a closer look:

Use a therapist.

If your child suffers from ADHD, you may have them on medication to help with the symptoms. However, a therapist can help their with behavior, and help you and the rest of your family better cope with the life ADHD means. Of course you want to find that right therapist for your family. Not every therapist is going to help.

Psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy can be a very helpful tool for a parent of a child with ADHD. ADHD has a way of making people feel inadequate or not as good about themselves because they are different and perform differently than most. A psychotherapist works to help people with ADHD to like and accept themselves despite their disorder. It is not a behavioral therapy, and does not treat the symptoms at all, it simply helps the sufferer to like themselves and explore their emotions and self-defeating patterns. While this is not directly for you, the parent, your child's benefits will benefit you. While in psychotherapy, patients talk with the therapist about upsetting thoughts and feelings, explore self-defeating patterns of behavior, and learn alternative ways to handle their emotions. Their therapist will also help your child cope with their disorder.

Behavioral therapy.

Behavioral therapy is something that will help both the parent and the child with ADHD. This type of therapy is going to help your child be more effective on working out immediate issues. It is not about understanding your feelings and actions, rather it helps them change their thinking and the way they cope. Behavioral therapy gives practical assistance, like help in organizing tasks, schoolwork, or dealing with emotionally charged events. This kind of therapy focuses on what they do well, and rewards positive behavior. This means that as a parent you can help your child be happier and do better in the areas they struggle in, making your job easier.

Social skill training.

This is another thing that is for your child, but directly affects you as a parent. If your child takes social skills training and learns appropriate behavior in social situations, you can feel less stress. A lot of the stress of being a parent to an ADHD child comes from other people judging you, and your child, because they do not understand the challenges your child has. In social skills training, the therapist discusses and demonstrates appropriate behaviors. They will help your child realize how these behaviors are important in developing and maintaining social relationships. They will work with them on things like waiting for a turn, sharing toys, asking for help, or responding to teasing. This means your child will learn from experience and will start to behave better. They will learn better ways to play and work with other children, meaning less stress for you.

Support groups.

Being a parent to a child with ADHD can be overwhelming. There will be times when you think you can not take another minute, and you wonder if you are the only one who has ever felt this way. The fact is, you aren't, many parents are experiencing the same difficulties, and can help you cope. Support groups help parents connect with other people who have similar problems and concerns with their ADHD children. If you join a support group, you will meet regularly, and have a chance to discuss and connect with others, as well as listen to lectures from professionals and ADHD experts.

One of the reasons these are such great options for parents who want help with ADHD children is that you get the chance to share your frustration, as well as your successes. You also get to share references, and learn from people who have similar problems what helped, and what did not.

No one can deny that there is strength in numbers, and sharing experiences with others can help life burdens, and make you feel better. There are national organizations listed at the end of this document.

Parenting skills training.

Parenting skills training is something offered by therapists to help parents with ADHD manage their child's behavior so that it is not so difficult to parent them. There are a lot of different techniques for managing child behavior, and your therapist can help you find the one that works best for you. This system helps parents find ways to recognize and enjoy your child's strengths. Not only does this help you as a parent to appreciate your child more, but it also can be an effective way to modify a child's behavior.

This system is one where a parent identifies a few desirable behaviors that they want to encourage in the child-such as asking for a toy instead of grabbing it, or completing a simple task. The child is told what is expected in order to earn a reward. The child then receives the reward when he or she performs the desired behavior and a mild penalty when he or she doesn't. The goal, over time, is to help children learn to control their own behavior and to choose the more desired behavior.

The other benefit to this system is that it helps parents structure situations in a way that their child will have more chances for success. For example, you may have them play with fewer people at a time, or fewer toys so they do not get as overstimulated. It may mean breaking up bigger tasks into smaller steps, such as getting ready for the day can be broken into brushing teeth, taking off pajamas, putting on new pajamas, etc.

Parents will also learn stress management methods. These methods might include meditation, relaxation techniques, and exercise. These things are used to increase the parent's tolerance for frustration so that they can respond more calmly to their child's behavior.

Set a Schedule.

Schedules can have a great affect on your child, and can make being a parent easier. What you need to do as a parent is set up a schedule that is easy to follow and gives your child something to count on and some structure. Often times routines are the best way to manage your child's behavior.

• Have the same routine every day, from wake-up time to bedtime.
• Make sure that the schedule you set includes time for homework.
• Make sure that the schedule you set includes time for recreation.
• Make sure that the recreation includes indoor and outdoor activities, such as computer games, sports, toy time, etc.
• Make sure that you place the schedule on the refrigerator or in a highly visible place.
• Make sure that if you are going to have any changes in the schedule that you make them in advance and prepare your child for it.
• Make sure you have some time in the schedule for you.
• Make sure that you have time and space in your schedule for things like shopping, getting together with friends, etc.

Besides setting a schedule you should try to keep everything organized in your home as well. You will want to make sure that in your child's room you have a place for everything, clothes, toys, books, homework, etc.

Help your child with school so that you do not have to deal with the stress of a child doing poorly academically. You want to use homework and notebook organizers, and stress the importance of writing down assignments and bringing home needed books. If your child can find a system that works for them, you can encourage homework, and other things to keep them successful in school.

Set rules, and be consistent with discipline. Children with ADHD need consistent rules that are easy to understand, and that are easy to follow. You want to make sure that they get rewards if they do things that are good, and that you do not just focus on what they do wrong, but what they do right as well. Look for good behavior and praise it.

Parent time.

If you want to be a good parent of an ADHD child it is important that you take time for you. You have to have time to distress and replenish your energy reserves so that you can be a patient, loving parent that can deal with the unique challenges and rewarding gifts having an ADHD child brings.